Abs vs Self-Esteem:

Body Culture Has Gotten Proper Weird

With summer arriving all at once and half the population suddenly wearing a lot less clothing, we've found ourselves thinking about the way we talk about bodies.

Especially our own.

Fair warning: this one's slightly serious.

GYMBROS VS EMOTIONAL CROQUETTES

There's something exhausting about how we talk to ourselves about our appearance these days. The internet seems to have split into two tribes.

The Peak Performance Crowd

The endless self-improvement types.

Bodies as optimisation projects. Lives measured in electrolytes, ice baths, forehead Botox and two-hour Hyrox sessions.

Wellness and looksmaxxing not as hobbies, but as identities.

The Body-Positivity Purists

The people for whom any interest in appearance is shallow, self-care is capitalist oppression, and letting yourself go is somehow a revolutionary act.

Bonus points for romanticising ultra-processed food.

According to the internet:

• No six-pack? You're failing.
• Too into fitness? You're part of the problem.

Somewhere between looking after yourself because you enjoy it and punishing yourself because nothing ever feels good enough, there's probably a middle ground.

THE GREY AREAS NOBODY TALKS ABOUT

"Take care of yourself. But do it for you."

Sure.

But maybe also a little bit for other people?

We're social creatures.

We like being liked.

Validation isn't a moral failure. It's a perfectly normal human feeling.

Pretending we're completely unaffected by how others see us feels about as realistic as moving into a cave and deleting society.

"Accept yourself exactly as you are."

Also true.

But maybe as who you could become, too.

Because self-love doesn't have to mean standing still.

Just as you'd look after a friendship, a garden or a home, you can care for yourself without rejecting who you are today.

"You are what your actions say about you."

Maybe.

But we're not convinced every healthy habit needs turning into a heroic personal-growth narrative.

Sometimes self-care isn't transformational.

Sometimes it's repetitive.

Sometimes it's boring.

Sometimes it's just Tuesday.

And that's fine.

ON SUSTAINABLE HEDONISM & ENJOYABLE SELF-CARE

Sometimes we're simply talking about:

• washing your face
• going for a walk
• getting to bed a bit earlier
• eating something green between meetings and low-level existential dread

That's it.

Lately, we've been thinking about self-care in a way that's a lot less intense and a lot more human.

A slightly messy mix of:

• health
• pleasure
• aesthetics
• energy
• rest
• play
• respect

Not because we're chasing perfection. But because taking care of yourself can also be an act of affection. Self-affection.

Like any long-term relationship you've ever had—with a partner, a house, a garden project or anything else worth sticking with—your relationship with your body works much the same way.

It's rarely about accepting everything. And it's rarely about changing everything. It's about the small daily gestures. The boring consistency. The different seasons. The ongoing work of making life with yourself a little more enjoyable.

Train, yes. But don't turn the gym into a religion. Wear SPF, yes. But don't become obsessed with looking twenty-five forever. Eat well, yes. But don't turn every meal into a spreadsheet. Want to look attractive, yes. But don't turn yourself into an impossible project.

We're not aiming for a perfect body.
We're aiming to wake up, catch our reflection in the mirror and think:
"Yeah. I'm pretty happy living here."

P.S. Speaking of enjoying summer without turning your body into a full-time concern... Handsomefyer Sun is back. SPF50 for your face. Melonizer for your body. And a very simple philosophy: Get outside. Show a little skin. Have a good time.