How to get ready for a date

Searching on Google or ChatGPT “how to prepare for a date” says a lot about the moment we are living in. It is not that we have forgotten how to do it, but that we feel we are not quite ready to do it “right”. Fear of failing, pressure to impress, the expectation that this has to end in weddings, happily ever afters and a shared mortgage… And of course, before you even leave the house, you are already exhausted. 
This blog is not here to help you get more dates, it is about reclaiming desire, playfulness and your very own body. 

BEFORE YOU LEAVE: A PRACTICAL CONCESSION (JUST TO FEEL IN CONTROL) 

We will get to the mindset shift in about 300 words, but first we want to give you a checklist, a pair of armbands, a small sense of order before the delicious chaos. Not to impress more, but to arrive at your date with a calmer body.
 

DURING THE DATE: WHAT WE REALLY WANT (AND RARELY SAY)  

On a date, nobody is looking for you to be brilliant, flawless or immaculate. Most of us are looking for something much simpler (and much harder): feeling comfortable. 

And although the context is not the same, the easiest way to remember when you feel comfortable is to think about time spent with friends, those moments where you can be a bit silly without fear of being judged, and bring that attitude into your dates. Because in those moments:

•  You do not feel like you are being tested and you are not testing anyone.
• You feel the other person is not performing and neither are you.
• There is genuine curiosity, with no strategy behind it.
• Silences are allowed and nothing bad happens.
• You joke, get distracted, drift a little.
• You ask more weird questions than deep ones like what used to embarrass you but no longer does or what strange habit you only show to people you trust. 

These attitudes do not lead anywhere specific and they do not reveal any vital information. They simply open the door to a shared moment. And maybe that is what we need to remember. 

DATES WITHOUT OBJECTIVES AND FULL OF DESIRE

We have become used to living dates in terms of success or failure. With a goal, an outcome, expectations, a score you give yourself…

But we could also play, at least for fun, with resignifying the terms:

• Understanding seduction not as manipulation techniques to conquer, but as giving something the time it needs to happen without anticipating what.
• Expanding intimacy beyond the physical, to any space where you open up to someone without armour.
• Enjoying desire without demanding an immediate resolution. Maybe you desire or are desired and it is not reciprocated. How lucky for everyone.
• Finally, changing the idea of a “date” into the opportunity to inhabit a space where being comfortable is enough. 

Being there, without proving anything, without evaluating, without keeping score. It might lead to something or it might not. And only then, preparing for a date is not about putting yourself to the test. It is about bringing intention, body, curiosity and play. 

P.S.: If you accept that butterflies in your stomach and a bit of sweat are a delicious part of dating, but you still do not want them down there just in case, you can turn to our Giggleberries, all round intimate care with deodorising effect and a sweet candy scent.