Stoic Resolutions

Lately, a lot of New Year’s resolutions you see online, usually delivered by fitness coaches and hyper-masculine crypto types, claim to be inspired by stoicism. 

They’ll quote Marcus Aurelius, then tell you to hit the gym even when you’re exhausted. 
Discipline. Silence. Endurance. 

But how stoic is that, really? 

 

NEO-STOICISM: DISCIPLINE, CONTROL AND “MAN UP” 

Neo-stoicism is a modern reinterpretation of classical stoicism that’s enjoyed a second wave of popularity thanks to figures like Tim Ferriss, Ryan Holiday, Jordan Peterson or Joe Rogan and their many local offshoots. 

In theory, it’s a contemporary update of an ancient philosophy born in Greece and Rome. In practice, it often arrives as motivational soundbites, cheap merch and a very narrow idea of masculinity. 

👉 Accept what you can’t control. take radical responsibility for what you can. 

You don’t control the world, you control your reaction. Don’t let feelings get in the way. Less excuses, more action. Pain builds character. Don’t complain. Don’t stop. Don’t ask for help. Don’t fail. Endure, like a Spartan or a Roman emperor. 

But what if we actually asked Seneca or Marcus Aurelius what they thought of all this? 

(Short answer: they’d probably wince.) 

 

 

WHAT CLASSICAL STOICISM WOULDN’T BUY INTO 

Classical stoicism was never a philosophy for “optimising” yourself. In fact, it would push back hard against much of modern neo-stoicism: 

  • ❌ A person’s virtue is not measured by productivity or output 

  • ❌ Self-control is not emotional repression or dissociation. Emotions must be felt and processed 

  • ❌ Radical individualism has no place here: a stoic is virtuous within the community 

  • ❌ Turning philosophy into an aesthetic identity is a clear no. Virtue isn’t performative 

For the stoics, ethics mattered more than efficiency. Living well mattered more than performing well. 

 

 

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS, STOICALLY UNDERSTOOD 

If we borrowed some Roman gravitas for our own New Year’s resolutions, they might sound a little less heroic and a lot more “human”: 

  • More community. Learn your neighbour’s name. Send a “how are you?” text you don’t need to send. 

  • More feeling. Let yourself cry once in a while. Shout into a cushion. Don’t swallow everything whole. 

  • More “I deserve this.” A decent moisturiser. A health check-up. A mattress that doesn’t ruin your back. 

  • More coherence, less epic. Washing up. Making the bed. Cooking something slowly. Quiet rituals no one applauds. 

  • More good life. Not just productive life. Walk without headphones. Laugh loudly. Move your body; dancing counts. 

In short: a calmer masculinity. Less “endure”. More “I’m working on it”.

 

 

 

P.S.: Want a resolution that’s genuinely easy to keep? If healthier hair is on your list this year, try Follicool; our new anti-hair-loss serum. 1–3 pumps every morning after your shower. Routine done. Head clear. Respect the process. 

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