You’ve turned into your father

There comes a moment in every man’s life when something mildly alarming happens. It’s not when you spot your first grey hair. Not when you get weirdly excited about paying less at the petrol station. Not even when you start saying things like, “This wine goes down very easily.” 

The real moment comes when you do something and think: “My dad used to do that.” 

It could be a body posture, hands behind your back, keys jangling like a baby rattle. Laughing a bit too hard at a proper dad joke. Looking in the mirror and noticing your receding hairline is starting to look suspiciously familiar. 

And that’s when it hits you: you’ve turned into your father.
 

15 SIGNS YOU’RE TURNING INTO YOUR FATHER  

If you’re past thirty, chances are you and your dad now see eye to eye on the following: 

  1. You talk about the weather with strangers. “This cold for March just isn’t normal,” because there’s now a tiny BBC weatherman living inside you. 

  1. You find yourself mesmerised by roadworks, barbecues or cars going through the car wash. Science has yet to discover a stronger gravitational force. 

  1. You start turning lights off, closing cupboards and playing dishwasher Tetris. Domestic engineering applied to every available surface. 

  1. You check the price of olive oil or petrol like it’s Bitcoin. 

  1. You appreciate a proper nap. A quick one, a scheduled one, one after lunch... or after breakfast. 

  1. Loud bars start to feel like a terrible idea. And you catch yourself saying: “Right, I might make a move.” 

  1. Red wine starts tasting... actually quite good. 

  1. Grey hairs start showing up in your beard, your hairline starts shifting in the mirror, and your laugh lines stop bouncing back. 

  1. You start worrying about your posture. And your knees. And that one mysterious joint that was absolutely fine yesterday. 

  1. You come out with lines like, “That didn’t use to happen before.” 

  1. You have an exact temperature for the shower and another one for the thermostat. And both are, obviously, the only correct settings. 

  1. You make noises. Sitting down, standing up, lying down... tiny functional grunts. 

  1. You compare appliances with the same intelligence, detail and scrutiny you once reserved for computers and video games. Coffee machines and vacuum cleaners are the new desktop setups. 

  1. You read signs. In lifts, on planes, by the pool, on shampoo bottles... valuable information. 

  1. You start sentences with, “Well, it’s not actually that bad...” 

The transition is quiet. One day you’re the son... and the next...

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR FATHER

Our dads, boomers and the generations before them, grew up in a very different world. No internet. No mobile phones. No social media. No YouTube tutorials for every little thing. 

They learned by copying other people, or just making it up as they went along. They did the best they knew how to do, until they learned to do it better. 

And in the meantime, they waited and got on with it. Generations shaped by less self care, and more of a “just get on with it and don’t complain” mindset, not because they wanted nothing else, but because there wasn’t much choice. 

For example, your dad’s skincare routine probably looked something like this: supermarket shampoo, aftershave that stung like petrol poured onto an open wound, blue tin cream when his skin got dry and flaky, roll on deodorant... and that was about it. 

And that did the job.
 

WHEN TURNING INTO YOUR FATHER ISN’T BAD NEWS

Over time, we all inherit something from our fathers. Their gestures. Their habits. The way they look at things. 

And one day you find yourself appreciating “the good bits” all over again: their resilience, their ability to sort things out, that quiet way of showing up when it really matters. And you also realise, only now, with hair on your kiwis, that some of the less brilliant things they did were never really a choice. They were context, the times they lived in, and a lack of learning. 

If they had to learn through trial and error, we, the children of Google and ChatGPT, have a different job: deciding what we keep and what we do differently. Because in the end, growing up is partly about that too. Becoming a bit more like your dad. But with internet access, moisturiser... and less stingy aftershave. 

 

P.S.: If the one thing you really don’t fancy inheriting from your dad is the receding hairline, we’ve got a plan: a hair serum. It’s called Follicool. 🦁 

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